Tae Kami Medical Fund

1 December 2008 Update

Its already approaching the end of a traumatic year that will remain with us for the rest of our lives. Its been 3 months since Tae passed on but we live with these incredible memories that inspire us on one hand and often, despite the best intentions, reduce us to tears...

We are discovering quite a few pages of her journals she has written on pieces of paper or over several different notebooks. Here are a few comments from Tae's journals:

Tae on Depression:
Depression is only a phase - Like a thunderstorm, it is loud, dark...damp and upsetting... it can shake you and can spoil all the fun. But one thing is certain - the storm will always pass and what we have to do is to just let it be, let it pass... let it pass

Tae on Hope & Heaven...
I know that I'll be going to Heaven someday soon and I'm all ready for that. God will call me Home at His Own time and even though I know my body isn't getting any better (I mean, its actually gotten worse) I still continue to hold on to God - knowing that he can take care of everything. Just knowing that in the end, everything I've had to put up with... everything I had to go thru - it will be all worth it.
I read a book recently that said:
" That the trials of the Journey, will be lost in the Joys of the Feast"..
Written sometime in June 2008.

We appreciate the prayers and emails from many of you who have continued to encourage us through the last few months.
Sina and the girls leave for Tonga on 5 December and I will join them nearer to Christmas. We will be back in early January.
'ofa atu and blessings

My Dear Friend Tae by Momota 'Atiola

Viewing from the end of the rainbow,
You then realize how it was all meant to be
How Beautiful A Life could be
Is it wrong if I say perfection exists?..

Everything works for Good for those who Love Him,
And Yes, that is true,
For what else can you ask for
When more than enough has been achieved..

How can I grieve?
When I know you're Happy and Free!
How can I complain?
When Im sure you're in that Bigger Better Place!
I will be content in the time we we're given,
I will rejoice in your Victory!..

Love, Faith, and Hope has found the way,
And in His arms you endured the rain,
Play gracefully in Heavenly Peace,
Watch over me as I follow the beat!..

It's hard to see a dear friend go down,
But in knowledge of the fact that she's going UP!
I know we'll be OK!
Off course God was with us along the way..

In my Heart You'll Always be,
Part till There we'll finally meet,
So as Christians Im Proud to say,
See you in Heaven MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!


by Momota 'Atiola

Miss my sister Tae : by Mia (Nov 15th)

Hi everyone

We are all doing fine, but the house feels different without Tae. I miss her so much and every morning I wake up and remember her telling me to remember to pray before I sleep and when I wake up in the morning.She told me never give up and no matter what other people think of me.... I'm special. She also told me that life will be hard but keep walking on and walking strong and remember that she will be watching with God over me and Joy. This week we saw rainbow almost everyday here in Fiji, and Joy said "Tae is coming home ... she is sitting on the rainbow and waving at us" I do believe that Tae sees the rainbow and smile from heaven knowing that we are  seeing the same rainbow..

I enjoy my school and I have been learning how to play the guitar. I'm hoping that I would be able to play Tae's song and some of her favourite songs. We have 3 more weeks of school to go and I can't wait to go back to Tonga and visit Tae's grave everyday.

I told my mum what I said to Tae before she passed on that I love her so much and she said "Mia this might be my last day and no matter what happen I will always be with you.. thank you for being such a good sister to me and remember to tell Joy stories about me so that she doesn't forget that she had another sister.. I love you Mia" I cried and cried but Tae said "don't cry Mia I'll be okay... remember I told you that I will see you at the house" I will never forget my sister Tae and for Joy I don't have to tell her strories about Tae because she talks more about her everyday and I believe Tae did it herself making sure that Joy will understand what will happen to her, before she leaves for heaven.

I wish Tae could see me with my new hair style. I got it straighten yesterday because it is so thick and now it feels lighter and thinner. Maybe I can look after my hair proberly when I'm a little bit older.

I love my sister and I love my family. I now only have one sister Joy but I'm lucky that I have a big sister in Heaven who is watching over me.. nothing beats that!

I miss singing with her and one of our favorite song that Tae always tells me to come sit down and sing with her was

"I just can't give up now.. I've come too far from where I've started from.. nobody told me that the road would be easy and I don't believe He's brought me this far to Leave me.."

Hopefully I can teach Joy to sing with me .. but maybe I have to give her ice-cream first before she sings. haha

love you all and God bless

WOWS - walk on walk strong

Mia

15 November Update

Hi all,
Its been a while since the last update but its given us some space and time to think things through and just to settle in a little more in Suva. Its almost the end of the school year and Mia and Joy are enjoying their school year. 
Sina recently had her hair cut during her Aunty Sina's funeral - first time in her life to get her cut this short and she's still getting used to it but we think she looks great!

We have also decided to take a break on trying to do too many things at one time especially with the follow up with Tae's various projects and have postponed the doing of the Child Cancer Resource room in Tonga until things settle down for us. We are however planning to launch the Tae Kami scholarship fund in December and will post some information next week for those who want to support that.

Today I am in Sydney on my way to Bangkok for meetings. Sydney is a beautiful city especially strolling around the harbour with the Opera House, Harbour Bridge and the bustle of the evening ferries transporting people to the other side. It struck me that no matter how many times I see this view I find it quite fascinating... I realized it was the sort of thing I would share with Tae - and I immediately zapped a few shots to Mia via email.  I also thought of all the things I want to describe to my kids and realized we all sometimes take life for granted and don't take time to absorb and enjoy God's handiwork.

So much of how we see and appreciate our surroundings depends on us - the colors, the diversity, people in all shapes, sizes, moods; harried commuters, gazing tourists with their clicking cameras, laughing students, tired families, the crowded bars on Friday afternoons, the waft of sea air, the fading light - the blare of horns... and in the background, the violinist busking on Pitt Street mall while the busy afternoon crowds flow past beating a steady rythm for the setting of the sun.

I want my kids someday to walk through these places and take it all in - and I realize that it would be so easy to be the harried traveller or moody teenager and not appreciate our surroundings... whether its the middle of a strange city or a stunning natural scene that leaves us breathless... We learned from Tae, that our views are coloured by the palette that is inside us - how we see the world is determined by whats within...
Lets not take life for granted... enjoy what God has given us today.

Le'o 'oe Fa'e (Voice of mum .. in Tongan)

Fakafeta'i he Foaki Tama Ma'aku

Oi he fai fuoloa, Ta koe mavae ne pau, Hu'i teunga he kuo lava 'ae tau. Si'i fua hoto manava koe polopolo kihe Hau, 'Itaniti ko hono 'api ma'u. Fepueli 'oe Hivatolu, Na'a ke fakakoloa ai au, 'Aki ha tama ke tauhi pe Ma'Au, 'Ikai teu lava ke fakatatauu, Ho'o 'Ofa tauhi ne fai pe ke a'u. Ofo 'ae mo'ui ni he vaa'ihala Na'ake tofaa, Ki si'i kaunanga ni ke ne foua, Fou he mamahi koe ngaue 'ae kanisa, Kae kalanga pe 'a Tae "Ko hoku Tapuaki ia" Fehu'ia 'ehe kakai koe ha nai hono 'uhinga? Pe koe mala, pe hia 'ae matu'a, Kae pikitai pe 'a Tae kihe lau 'ae folofola, Ke ha e langilangi... 'ae 'Otua. 'Ahia 'a Aotearoa he ta'u nai 'e fa, Kae ala mai 'a Tonga mo Tu'apule'anga, Ke fetakinima mo Ho'o kaunangaa, 'Ihe lotu hufia moe foaki 'ofa. Mapelu ai e loto e kau toketa, Ha leka loto to'a mo tui 'Otua Nau ngaue 'ofa 'o 'ikai 'ekea, Houa ngaue moe taimi 'i loki tafa. Fai e 'amanaki kuo 'osi kuo lava. E ngaue 'ae kanisa mo hono natula, Ta koe palani ne ta mei 'Olunga He'ikai toe lava ke ue 'ia. Palani ke ta'u pe 'e hongofulu ma nima, Ka koe ngaahi ta'u 'o hoto fakakoloa, Ha ki'i mo'ui pikitai ki hono 'Otua 'O lau e kanisa koe me'a'ofa ia. 'Ahia hotau 'api masiva, 'E 'Api popula moe kainga 'ofa; Fuifuilupe moe Hau 'o Tonga, Ke faka'ilonga'i ha tui 'oku tu'umo'unga 'Aho 16 Aokosi 'oe uaafe ma valu He'ikai ngalo he'ete manatu, Ho'o malimali ... kate faka'amu, "'Eiki e.. toe 'omi taimi mu'a ma'aku" Tangi e famili moe ngaahi maheni, He ki'i mo'ui ne fonu fakafeta'i, He fou he faingata'a moe mamahi, Kae kei ongo mai pe 'ene fakalotolahi. "Mou laka atu loto to'a, He koe matangi ni 'e 'ikai fuoloa. Fou he Afi moe faingata'a Mou Tui pea 'oua e toe tala'a." Tae.. neu ofo ho'o ngaahi palani Ke fai ho putu, kehe meihe anga maheni Ho'o loto kemau fiefia 'oua 'e mamahi He kuo pau ho hala ki Hevani Pea ke lea mavae "Oku ou 'ofa atu.. Lava e Tau, kau tatau atu Ma'u 'a Hevani ko hoku 'api ma'u.. 'Ofa, Tui pea 'Amanaki ke A'u" Mapelu e fofonga ho kaungame'a, He mole 'enau lose meihe ngoue'anga, Kolisi Kuini Salote malo e fanautama , He na'e Pau pea A'u 'Ae Taumu'a. Neu pehee pe tete malava, "Ae mavae mo hoto 'ofa'anga, Ta koe me'a vete ngata'a, He koe fua 'o hoto manava. Tae Kami he'ikai teu hanu. He kuo ke ako'i au keu 'Unu atu. Ofi kihe 'Eiki ke fakanonga au, Mo 'omi Kelesi keu tu'u ma'u. Kake folau a mo 'ete 'ofa; He'ikai 'osi pe ka'anga Ka kuo ke fekau mai kete nonga He kuo lava hoto fatongia Ka teu laka atu loto to'a Kae 'oleva keu ikuna Feinga ke ma'u 'ae Taumu'a Fesiofaki moe 'Otua. love always mum ..Sina

26 October - Update

It has been a while since the last update.  Taholo came back from a two week work trip to Barcelona for the IUCN World Conservation Congress.  On his return, we arranged with a friend Lata, who works at the Fijian resort, for a weekend at the resort. Mia and Joy were in Paradise while Taholo slept off the jet lag and I spent time recuperating with Lata and just enjoying a real break.

Last Monday, I left for NZ for my aunty's funeral Sina Lahi  (Senior) who I was named after. Many of those who came to the funeral talked about Tae's faith and the impact she had on their lives. Even the preacher at the funeral mentioned the connection between Aunty Sina and her grand niece Tae.

I finished the week attending the Pasifika Medical Conference in Auckland with Taholo (He flew in for the meeting). Taholo spoke to the medical professionals of our experiences on the Journey with Tae and the need to ensure that others from the Pacific do not have to deal with some of our challenges. The response was quite positive and we hope that some of the issues are taken up with time.

It has been 10 wks and a day - Tae left us. But not a single day gone by without thinking of her. Today during Sunday School the teacher was talking about Moses died and went to meet God, Joy suddenly called out "my sister died and she is in Heaven too".

15 October - Resource Room for Cancer kids in Tonga

We would like to thank everyone who has been emailing and left comments on their support for one of Tae's dream to have a Resource Room for cancer kids in Tonga.

We have discussed this with the Child Cancer Foundation of Tonga and they have agreed to the idea and they will move into the house and base from there. The house will cost the foundation, $500 a month, this money comes through donations and fundraising.

It's a nice house but some works needed to be done like repainting and re-carpeting etc.  It's a three bedroom house with two bathrooms, kitchen and a big living room located near Town and next door to our house in Tonga at Kolomotu'a on Sipu Rd.

We wanted to have it closer to the hospital  but we believe it's better to start off with something small. Tae's dream is to have a nice, clean place for the kids who needs time away from home, playing games with their sisters or brothers, check their emails from friends, hire some dvd's, books or just relaxing. A room for the child if she/he not feeling well, tea and coffee available for parents. Tae also gave us instruction :  "mum please make sure the person who is gonna look after the place won't scare the kids and their families away.. I want a friendly and kind person to work there"

We are now asking for those who wants to help in making this child's dream come true.
These are the things that we will work on to change this house into a nice little place for our kids, with colorful paints, carpets, fridge, comfortable chairs, things to make tea in the kitchen, desk for the office, linens/sheets/pillow, and TV and DVD player, reading materials, computer, internet connection, wheelchair, book shelves,  security wires on all windows and doors with mosquito nets. We will also put a fence around the house.

Tae's dream has become our dream.. and we can do it. We have done it before through the love and support of so many people from around the world. This will be the first Resource Room for our children who are fighting cancer and there are more to come. You can contact me at sinakami@gmail.com if you or the company or organization you work for wants to help.

We are hoping that the room will be open to our children with cancer and their families on the first week of January 2009.
'ofa atu
Sina

10th October - "Things to remember" by Tae

Today is a public holiday in Fiji. So we start our day in town,watching the marching parade and then had lunch with some friends from Papua New Guinea. At 3pm we met up with Make and Wilco for swimming at the Fiji Club. The girls had fun today with their friends but on the way home, Mia said "Mum I miss Tae" .. we all miss her. I went through her Bebo page and read (many times I've read it ) what she wrote about "things to remember" .For me reading it is like me having a conversation with her.. telling me ........ ...Things to remember...by Tae Kami

Trust God in all circumstances. The one thing I've learned thru it all - is that with Jesus, there is always Hope... no matter how hard the situation may be. Cancer's been a blessing in disguise...despite the pain of it all, I've learned some really important things, met so many wonderful ppl and have become a much better person because of it. I don't regret a thing...and I feel so blessed despite my suffering. I know that if anything *does* happen to me, I'll be alright...because I know where I'll be in the end (Heaven!) and I know who holds me. The one thing we must remember is that whenever we're going thru tough times... we are never alone. God is always there when we need Him...why?? because He cares unconditionally for us. So...Count your blessings , be thoughtful , have fun, have faith , make no regrets, and live for today. Life's too short to worry about tomorrow!

6 October 2008 - Miss you Tae

Today I took the girls, Mia and Joy to their school to get their bus pass. On the way there, Joy said "Mum ..Tae is smiling at me ...see the sun..it's shining" I tried to hold back the tears and Mia quickly put her head out and cried out "Good morning Tae.. what's like up there with God?" The girls are doing okay, but they have been asking lots  of questions,  especially Joy. Driving around Suva without Tae is not the same.. we all miss her.

Taholo is in Barcelona for a meeting and he emailed back how he enjoyed the opening of their meeting and an orchestra would play and an acrobat would perform some incredible act (climbing and swinging from a piece of clothe hanging from the roof, balancing acts etc) for 7 minutes - stunning visualsback and Right through he  thought of Tae and how much she would appreciate something like that and then remembering Tae  sees something glorious glorious glorious every moment in heaven and what we are watching even at its most spectacular is a piddling comparison.

I have started putting Tae's writings/journals togther..  it has not been easy but it will be done someday. She has left a lot behind and with her writings .. shows how strong she was and even up to the day she passed on... nothing changed...she held on to her faith in God right to the end.

We miss you Tae..mate he 'ofa atu meiate au mum mo ho little sister Mia and Joy and also from Dad.

Keep singing baby...I know He is watching over me .. and You are watching us with Him.

2 October 2008

It's over a month since Tae left us to be with the Father, yet I still remember how she loves to sing the following song "Precious Lord take my hand" with a very weak voice, struggling to breath but still try to sing. Looking at the words today, it just say it all... what she went through at those last moments, the pain and suffering but she Held on to the Father's hand and never let go. She held on with her Faith in Christ alone.. to lead her Home.

Precious lord take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm to the light
Lead me on through the night
Take my hand precious Lord lead me on
When my way grows drear,
Precious Lord, linger near,
When my life is almost gone,
Hear my cry, hear my call,
Hold my hand lest I fall:
Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.
Take my hand, precious Lord,
And lead and lead lead lead lead me home.

Just a closer walk with thee (Just a closer walk with thee)
Grant it Jesus is my plead (Just a closer walk with thee)
Daily walking close to thee Yes
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

I am weak but thou art strong (Just a closer walk with thee)
Jesus keep me from all wrong (Just a closer walk with thee)
I'll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk, close to thee

Just a closer walk with thee (Just a closer walk with thee)
Grant it Jesus is my plead (Just a closer walk with thee)
Daily walking close to thee Yes
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be


When my feable life is o'er, (Just a closer walk with thee)
Time for me will be no more. (Just a closer walk with thee)
But guide me gently safely o'er
To Thy kingdom kingdom shore ,
To Thy shore

I know she is with the Father. I remember how she use to tell us that she can't wait to go to heaven and first thing she'll do is to sit next to Jesus and ask "why only 15 yrs" .. and look for her Grandpa Sione Kami and the others. I believe that's exactly what she did and God alone did give her the answer ... and He must have just said as Tae told us "I just want you home Tae"

I miss my daughter but I know she is in a better place, watching with the father.. watching over the little sparrow and watching over us.

One of Tae's dream was to have a resource room for cancer kids in Tonga. We have been looking around in Tonga for a place to rent to start with. We now got a place but needs painting, cleaning etc.. we are asking for your support and prayers. We can do it, like Tae used to tell us "just have faith mum and dad..things will be okay"
I believe we have come this far and with God's help.. by January 2009 the resource room will be open.

Thank you again and God bless you all