Happy Easter from us all here in Fiji! We just got back from the Good Friday service with the Tongan community here in Suva. On the way back, the memories of last years Easter brought tears and heart ache as we remember our special time with Tae last year. Somehow we knew that was her last Easter with us and today she is with Jesus!
I went back and read her journal from last year's easter- 2008- and this is what she wrote
Dear Journal,
Happy Easter! (2008)
Things have gotten a lot more
difficult lately…especially now that I have my face to worry about. I feel like I’m juggling so many
different things, all at the same time. I have lung cancer, asthma, back
pain, head aches and other pains that come and go…and now, this had to happen
as well.
I remember how hurt and angry I
was, a few days ago. Waking up that morning and
finding out that the skin underneath the implant had opened up just a little
bit…was enough to make me cry.
It seemed like I had so much to
deal with already, and just the thought of having to go through more operations
and more pain - scared me. The last thing I wanted to do was to fly back to New Zealand and stay in hospital for the next couple of months.
All I want is to spend the last
days of my life, being happy and comfortable…I don’t want to waste those days
in hospital…forever searching for a cure. I know now, that the wound under
the implant may not heal… no matter how many times the doctors may operate.
And I’m okay with that.
I dunno why,
but I continue to count my
blessings. Even until now, there seems to
be more good things in my life than all the pain I’ve had altogether. I
guess Life will always be
tough (at times), just like cancer will always have pain. But there’s
always something
good in every situation. God heals us in different ways and I
believe God has healed me in a way that no one understand s but He
will reveal it to us in His own time.
And God will never give us
something that we can’t handle.
I had a great Easter with the
family…just being at home with everyone. I also had a great time with
Mota…(one of my best friends who managed
to come see me fromTonga and stayed with us for the past 2 weeks.) It helped a lot to have a friend
to talk to...especially during the past few days…she was always there to keep
me from worrying too much! She went back to Tonga this
morning…which was kind of sad, but I know we’ll see each other again real soon.
I’m hoping to go back to Tonga sometime…
not sure when exactly, but I’d like to spend the last of my days in
Kolomotu’a…at home with the family.
I’m glad that I don’t have any
more operations to worry about though – I’m also hoping to speak with our
doctor next time, about how I can have my medicals done at home instead of
having to stay in hospital.
I’ve always kinda looked forward
to the experience…when I don’t have to stay in hospital anymore…when I can
finally just stay in one place…it just seems more peaceful that way…less
stressing.
But for now though, I’m just
going to sleep in, have fun and just live for today.
Hopefully tomorrow, I’ll be
strong enough to go outside…after spending the past couple of days inside the
house …I’d really like to get out for
once.
I may feel weak sometimes but my faith is not. I have God in my life and that's enough for me.
'Ofa atu and God bless
Tae
Recent Comments